Since the beginning of the lockdown, what continues to frustrate me is how humans are still not willing to change certain disadvantageous mindsets even in the face of a pandemic. I say this sentiment in the context of a wide range of scenarios: from simple personal and safety habits, to how humans act and behave in society in general, and (of course, this blog being predominantly about humans at work) to legacy behaviours in organisations amidst digital transformation. I have caught myself asking this too many times:
How deeply hardwired are our behaviours into human nature that makes them so difficult to change?
The more I asked that question, the more I get frustrated over TONS of other things. Then it hit me— my 'frustration' became MY disadvantageous mindset that I couldn't shake off. So my question shifted:
Is 'frustration' ingrained in human nature? Or is it an outcome of habits and behaviours that I have the power to evolve?
In my initial quest of trying to find out how to change other people's mindset and behaviour, I have inadvertently discovered that:
a) it is very difficult to do so
b) for me succeed, I must try to understand how human nature and behaviour works
and
c) I have to start with myself
"In fact, it is arguably by acknowledging and understanding our shortcomings that we can more successfully overcome them and so cultivate the better angels of our nature." - The British Psychological Society
So how do I plan to manage my frustrations?
I. Strip away unnecessary layers of learned negativity
Britannica defines human nature as the "fundamental disposition of humans".
By definition, 'human nature' is the core of our being. It is our built-in quality around which we evolve. They say that in the course of evolution, even as an entity develops, adapts, and transforms, there is that 'core' that remains unchanged. It is the centre that keeps the entity's primal foundation in tact. I would like to believe that my primal instincts are in fact my purest and best weapons for survival. So when I wonder if frustration is part of human nature, to some extent it probably is— it just depends on how I will use it to solve my problems. Will I keep learned positivity and use my raw frustration to fuel my drive to find better solutions? Or will I add layers of learned negativity and allow it to pull me down?
II. Accepting that we are all different beings
Speaking of human nature, when I remind myself that we are all rational and sentient beings who are unique in our own ways, I am reminded that I cannot always expect everyone to see the world as I do.
"Human beings are, in other words, hardwired. You can take the person out of the Stone Age, evolutionary psychologists contend, but you can’t take the Stone Age out of the person. That said, evolutionary psychologists do not argue that all people are alike underneath. The discipline recognises the individual differences caused by a person’s unique genetic inheritance, as well as by personal experiences and culture. [...] Understanding evolutionary psychology is useful to managers because it provides a new and provocative way to think about human nature; it also offers a framework for understanding why people tend to act as they do in organizational settings. Put another way, evolutionary psychology, in identifying the aspects of human behavior that are inborn and universal, can explain some familiar patterns. It sheds light on why people behave in ways that don’t appear to be beneficial to themselves or to their businesses." - Harvard Business Review
III. Manage my expectations
The American Psychological Association defines frustration as "the thwarting of impulses or actions that prevents individuals from obtaining something they have been led to expect based on past experience, as when a hungry animal is prevented from obtaining food that it can see or smell or when a child is prevented from playing with a visible toy. Internal forces can include motivational conflicts and inhibitions; external forces can include the actions of other individuals, admonitions of parents or others, and the rules of society."
Ultimately, what will let me down are my own unmanaged expectations. I shouldn't judge others based on how I expect them to behave. Rather, I should process their actions with an empathic heart and an open mind.
IV. Evolve my habits and reframe my perception
Habits are seeds you plant that sprout into behaviours and branch out into mindsets. Someone once told me that if I want to eat healthier and lose weight, I should put the good kinds of food at eye level, and place the bad ones out of reach. Reframing how I perceive difficult situations will also help me handle challenges more constructively.
"For many of us, the initial response to stress is to look for external fixes. We turn to productivity tools or apps that promise to help us manage mounting pressures or we look for ways to alleviate our discomfort: find a different job, hire a new employee to take on an increased workload, or switch careers. But these solutions are often temporary and ineffective. Managing stress over the long-term requires cultivating your own resilience skills before seeking external solutions so that you can turn changes, stresses, and challenges into opportunities." - Harvard Business Review
V. Take a break and focus on other things first
If it's work that's frustrating me, I should take a much needed breather and play with my cats, watch Sherlock Holmes on Netflix, or have a light-hearted chat with my husband, with friends or family.
"We need to remember, though, that we can hustle, and we need to take breaks." - Medium.com
So to wrap it up: because the words "evolve", "human nature", and "instinct" were mentioned quite often, and because this is a blog about humans at work, I'd like to bring it back to the organisational context. Let me end this article by quoting Harvard Business Review's insight on humans, evolutionary psychology, and organisations:
"Many other managers, of course, also do some of these things even though they are unaware of the evolutionary psychology perspective. For evolutionary psychology proponents, this is unsurprising, and a sign that instinctively we recognize and enact what we feel to be true about our nature when we are free to do so. However, it might be added that more do not do so because— encouraged by the optimistic recipes of management cookbooks or constrained by technological and economic imperatives—they falsely believe that with commitment, resources, and ingenuity, anything is possible. In this spirit, time and time again we have tried and failed to eliminate hierarchies, politics, and interorganizational rivalry.
Evolutionary psychology says it’s time to recognize what we are and use this information to live in harmony with our hardwiring."
June 2: new COVID-19 fresh cases: 176, late cases: 183, total positive: 18,997; with a total of 966 who've passed, and 4,063 recoveries
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